A Writer's Retrospective: May 2021
The search for better soil takes me to new land—and away from my writing.
Photo by Jorge Caetano on Unsplash
Change has come to visit—at the cost of my precious writing time. Said changes include dissolving a 5-year partnership (my choice), moving (twice), and dealing with a suicidal ex-partner. I've been settled physically for quite some time; emotionally I don’t feel rattled, but I do find that deep work eludes me. I can finally go about doing my monthly retrospective, albeit two months late. It feels like a year has gone by since my last retro.
I made a non-trivial effort to keep up with my writing, even as I drove 20 miles each way between the room I rented (while waiting for my new place to be ready) and the previous residence. All in all, I made reasonable progress, given the situation. Still, the mountain of catch-up work I have to do has grown steadily. Only recently have I found the fortitude needed to tackle it head-on.
Last Month's Action Items
The first half of the month went reasonably well. The second half abruptly went to hell—starting on the 15th.
Week 1
Finish drafting Amateur Synthesis
Technically completed. However, I didn’t like what I came up with in a variety of ways. I called it finished because I needed to submit something to the critique group.
Outline the subsequent novelette (story #5).
Instead of this, I ended up freewriting about 2,000 words of prose. It was enough to get me into my own story, at least.
Draft 1 article.
Nope.
Generate 7 new story ideas—not related to current project.
Sitting around trying to think of story ideas was every bit as grueling as I thought it would be. Still, I actually managed to do it. I don’t know what I’m going to do with the ideas, if anything, but I feel like I took a big step in exorcising my “non-creative” self-image.
Week 2
Edit Amateur Synthesis; submit for critique.
Editing was somewhat brief. Again, I wanted to be finished with the story. (Spoiler: they panned it…as they should.)
Draft the first 3500 words of story #5.
I don’t recall getting much further in my effort than the aforementioned 2,000 words. (I was supposed to write up this retro two months ago, so…)
Outline the subsequent novelette (story #6).
Absolutely didn’t happen. Here’s why: my critique group has been pressuring me to start writing the novel I’ve been “preparing to write” all year. So, instead of doing this, I’ve hit the accelerator on doing what I need to do to get Chapter 1 on paper.
Edit week 1’s drafted article and post.
Haha!
Outline 3 of the 7 new story ideas.
Nope.
Writing
Mind map
When I first flirted with the idea of writing, the mind map was recommended in a variety of articles about one's creative process. However, I summarily dismissed it as a tool of the trade for actual creatives, rather than impostors like me. This past month, I decided to download a few different mind mapping programs and start transcribing my ideas.
Achievement Summary
Finished drafting Amateur Synthesis. (“Amateur synthesis” is a good descriptor for the work I’m doing, isn’t it?)
Completed the one-paragraph summary for book 1 of my project.
Did not complete the outline for story #5, Dionysian Instinct, but I ended up freewriting about 2000 words for it. A reasonable trade-off.
Generated 7 story ideas unrelated to my current project (of which maybe 2 excite me—ugh).
I did not draft a blog post, which was at the bottom of the priority list anyway.
Reflection
All in all, I got about half of my Week 1 and Week 2 goals completed. As discussed in the April retro, I tend to get about half of any given set of goals completed. I’m on trend, at least. The total amount of the work I completed is much higher than last month—and in only two weeks.
As for why I only had two weeks to get anything finished: the “showdown” took place on May 15th. I was a little shaken up after that—took a few days off work and hung out with some friends to recoup. I was okay to work after that, but not enough to do much else.
Action Items
Even back in May, I didn’t see myself doing much in the month of June. I wanted a month off of pressuring myself to write immediately after I upended my own life. Consequently, my goals for June were simple:
1. Finish Dionysian Instinct.
2. Outline Iriseed (the novel).
3. Draft the May retrospective.
4. Outline Iniquitous Charity (story #6).
Final Word
Life happens. With regard to the relationship, I can’t say I didn’t know I was going to end up single eventually, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. Even so, I pulled the trigger on it because it was time for me move on. I’m grateful that I have a place to go and the support of my friends, close and far.